Ribbed For Her Pleasure: Scifi Alien Dragon Romance (Celestial Mates) Read online

  "I don't know sir, it might be due to the lack of a grandmother," I say with an air of great contemplation.

  Demyan raises his fist back, his arm is shaking and I'm sure this is going to be it. I won't turn him in for it if he does. It's not like I don't deserve it. Gavriil is putting the rigging on Lyov but they're both watching me and Demyan. It's Lyov's day to make the climb down to harvest the epis. The most dangerous job in our crew so we rotate every day. If a zemlja were to come through while you're in the rigging you'd be well and truly screwed. More men lose their lives to that than anything else that could befall a harvesting crew. No one would ever do this job if we weren't forced, if epis wasn't the most valuable plant in the galaxy.

  Demyan lowers his fist and turns his back on me. Stalking away, he doesn't say a word. I'm stunned by the lack of action, standing and waiting for what's next. He's threatened to fire me more times than I can count. I half expected this to be the time he followed through. I'd be busted back to cleaning the sewers or worse but he doesn't say or do anything more.

  "Sir?" I call after his retreating form.

  "Get to work Biast," he says over his shoulder.

  I stare after him a moment then look over at Gavriil and Lyov. They're focused on getting Lyov into the rigging so I walk over to help. I can't stop my side-eyed glances at Demyan. Upsetting Demyan is part of the game but I don't want him to really hate me or anything.

  "Let me help," I say, kneeling down to help Lyov get his leg into one of the straps.

  "Sure," Gavriil says. "That was funny. Thought you were a goner for sure."

  "Ah you know me, I can't get killed like that," I quip.

  They both laugh and we finish hooking Lyov into the rig. As we lower him down towards the epis, the glowing strands cast strange shadows across his face. He starts harvesting as we guide him from strand to strand.

  "Okay Lyov, moving you now," Gavriil calls out.

  "What are you guys doing tonight?" I ask as we work.

  "I'm going home, the wife wants me in early," Gavriil says. "Pretty sure Lyov is doing the same. You know how it is."

  "Yeah, sure," I smile but inside the empty ache deepens.

  I know how it is. They have wives, women who make them happy, and I have no one. It's okay, I guess. I just haven't found the right one. Or so I tell myself. Every other guy my age has been married for years. I'm the only one on our rotation that is still single. It means I'm alone most of the time but that's okay. I like myself.

  The rest of the day passes and we ride the cart back to the city across the drifting, red desert sand. The sun is low on the horizon casting a gold tint to everything as it sets. Demyan grumbles the entire way because we're short our quota. The implication is there that it's all my fault but he never says it so I ignore him. We unload at the processing plant and our harvest is checked in then we're allowed to go, though our pay is docked for being short on quota. Even Gavriil and Lyov look at me sidelong when the docking penalty shows up on our pay screens.

  "Night guys," I smile and hold up my hand in farewell.

  "Night," they both say then I'm alone, as usual.

  My shoulders slump as I walk to my apartment to find something to eat.

  "There you are!" someone says surprising me.

  When I spin around on my heel to face the intruder I take a step back in shock. A tiny man-looking thing with wings is floating three feet in front of my face. He's wearing a red cloth that hangs loosely with a cinch of a golden rope at his waist that has small bags hanging off of it. White fur rises off the top of his round head to a point and his eyes sparkle with delight.

  "Who are you?" I ask.

  "Your Agent," he smiles broadly.

  "My what?"

  "Oh come on, we don't have time to mess around, you're coming with me," he says.

  "I am not," I say as he flutters up and down.

  "I'm taking you to your mate, come now," he says, reaching into a bag on his waist.

  "My what…" I don't finish the sentence because he tosses some glittery sand at me then everything flashes white.

  3 JENNA

  Opening my eyes I close them again quickly. I did not see what I thought I just saw. Nope, no way, not what I saw, just an after effect of the bright flash. I open my eyes, slowly this time, giving them time to adjust.

  "Uhm, no, yes? What the hell is going on?" I ask out loud.

  I'm standing on a barren beach if you can call it that. It's mostly sharp black rocks that the surf pounds against. A huge cliff is behind me that looks like it rises straight up for a hundred feet or more. The waves are hitting so hard that cold water splashes me. I'm wet, cold and have no idea where I am.

  "This ain't no tourist destination," I say. "And how in the hell did I get here?"

  Looking around, the sky pulls my attention. It's not blue or any other color it should be.

  "What the holy hell?" I ask myself.

  The sky is emerald with strands of blue clouds floating across it. Just to drive home the alien-ness of it all, there are six moons visible.

  "Well Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore," I exhale. "Hey! Cherub dude! Where are you? Take me home, right now. This was funny, sure, great, now get me home!"

  The pounding surf is my only answer. I'm getting wetter and colder the longer I stand here. Goosebumps are all over my skin and a shiver runs down my spine.

  "Well nothing for it right?" I say making my way down the beach. I monologue because the habit keeps me from thinking about my nerves. "Maybe there'll be a way away from this water at least. A camp or something. I've played enough games, look at it like that. Heck maybe I'm dreaming? Yeah, that's probably it. I probably picked up some bug at the Con and when I got home I passed out. Now I'm stuck in a really weird dream. Okay, good, I can do this."

  I don't make it very far very fast. The rocks are slick. Really slick. Picking my way across them takes most of my attention.

  "Damn stupid cherub-looking monster bastard," I mutter as I walk then I stop as something occurs to me.

  "Cloud!" I yell at the emerald sky. "Who's going to take care of Cloud! I need to get out of here! Where are you, take me home! I demand you take me home now!"

  I shake my fist at the empty beach stretching out before me. Something splashes to my left out in the ocean but it sounds big and scares the hell out of me. Turning quickly to see what caused it my foot slips, my ankle twists and I fall on my side.

  "Damn it," I swear.

  Climbing to my feet I inspect my arm. There's going to be a good bruise and there's a trickle of blood.

  "Stupid cherub, dwarf thingy," I grouse. "This is miserable. One hundred percent, grade-A awful with a capital A."

  Now that I'm back on my feet I watch the ocean, hoping while also hoping not to see what made the noise. It sounded big so I'm not sure I want to know what it was. Especially if it looks like it might come on the beach. "Hey, better to know what's coming right? Right? Sure, tell yourself that."

  The water breaks a short distance from the shore and a… thing rises up out of it. It almost looks like a whale. If a whale had huge squid tentacles around it's mouth. Oh and sharp teeth. Don't forget the sharp teeth. It rises into the sky going up and up until at least twenty feet of whatever is above the water and I assume there's even more below. I'm frozen with fear. I couldn't run if I tried.

  Its giant mouth opens and closes like it's chewing, then I realize that it is. There's something in it's mouth. There's a screaming sound that makes me think of the squeal of tires burning out on asphalt then the thing starts dropping back below the water. As it drops, a wave forms then rushes for the beach. I stumble backwards trying to get away but I don't make it far enough. A wave of ice cold water crashes over, soaking me to the bone.

  "Great! I got it, okay! We need a bigger boat!" I scream in frustration.

  There's a BAMF sound again, this time behind me. I whirl around trying to be more careful with my footing this time. It's him! The cherub floats in the ai
r a dozen feet away but this time he's not alone. There's a seven foot tall dragon-man with him. He has wings that are folded close to his back, a tail that swishes back and forth almost like Cloud's, and every visible part of him is covered with colorful scales. Overall he seems to be beige-yellow but each scale is accented with bright blues and reds. It's crazy. There's no way I'm stuck on a shitty alien planet with an enormous, intimidating alien. Definitely a deam.

  The dragon-man roars something that sounds like a series of guttural hisses as he stumbles on the rocky beach grabbing for the cherub. The dwarf-creature floats out of his reach easily dodging up and down between the grasping arms. Dragon-man stumbles, tries to keep his footing, his wings spread out wide and he flaps them wildly then falls. When he falls his wings continue pushing so he looks like he floats to the ground instead of slamming down. I can't stop myself from giggling watching it. It looks like some weird, paranormal Three Stooges routine.

  "Good luck!" the cherub calls out then BAMFs out of existence again.

  Dragon-man climbs back to his feet then turns a slow circle. I'm still giggling at his fall but then he completes the full circle and is looking at me. I swallow my laughter nervously. Is this his hungry look?

  He stares, or glares, or maybe he's getting ready to breathe fire on me.

  "So, uhm, this is totally still a dream right," I say. "Please tell me that you don't want to eat me?"

  He steps towards me so I step back. He's big, maybe I can outrun him? Speaking of eating, my stomach grumbles. I'm hungry which means Cloud is probably hungry too. The dragon-man tilts his head to one side then his mouth moves and a series of guttural hisses comes out.

  "Yeah, I'm hungry too, but I'm not a tasty treat," I say shrugging. "No eat me, okay? I'm sure I'm not tasty at all. I'm probably quite gamy, yeah, I'm sure I'd be gamy."

  He shrugs just like I did. I laugh. I can't help myself. The situation is so incredibly absurd. I'm on some kind of alien planet with a half-man half-dragon creature and there's absolutely nothing funny about any of it but when he shrugs his huge shoulders they come up by his head and his wings droop and it just strikes me as funny.

  His lips spread as I laugh and if I didn't know better I'd say he was smiling. Of course I don't know better so maybe he is? Damn it I hope so.

  "Yeah, okay," I say looking around. "I've played a lot of Minecraft so the first thing you do on night one is find some basic shelter. We need to find some place out of this wet and cold."

  He doesn't come any closer so maybe he's not intent on eating me, at least not yet. I start looking around while trying to keep one eye on dragon-man. It's not as easy as it sounds when you read it in a book. It doesn't help that I'm shivering almost constantly now. It's so damn cold and I'm wet to the bone. I notice that dragon-man is shivering too, or making some gesture that makes me think he's shivering and cold. It would make sense, lizards are cold-blooded, so if his anatomy is like a lizard this is a really bad situation for him to be in.

  "There!" I say, pointing excitedly and completely ignoring the fact he doesn't understand.

  I always talk to myself. Makes me a great YouTuber. Crap for conversation with someone actually there to respond but great for when I'm alone. Or not caring because the dragon-man doesn't speak my language anyway. I point at what looks like a cave until the dragon-man looks where I'm pointing.

  "A cave!" I yell.

  He looks at me over his shoulder, staring at me. My stomach knots up nervously.

  "A cave," I say again. "We need to get up there."

  I start picking my way over the sharp, slippery rocks towards shelter.

  4 JENNA

  "So this isn't a dream," I say to no one in particular.

  It's not like the dragon-man can understand me and I'm not yet convinced he doesn't have designs on eating me. My stomach grumbles to accent that thought. I don't hear his footsteps behind me which is almost worse. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end and my shoulder muscles tense. I turn around, slowly, not sure I want to see what's going on behind me. He's staring out at the ocean. His wings quiver and his tail is swishing back and forth slowly. His broad, muscular shoulders and arms shimmer in the setting light. A spray of water from the rolling tide breaks upwards and a rainbow sparkles off of it. As the water reaches him he moves backwards quickly. Almost like he's afraid.

  "You're kidding me," I say, then he trips over a rock and is falling backwards.

  Automatically I run forward like I could help catch him. He'd crush me if I tried. Doesn't stop me running though, like a damn fool.

  "Careful!" I yell out like that's going to help.

  His arms pinwheel then his wings spread and flap. My heart misses a beat and it brings me to a stop. He starts to tip over then his tail slams to the rocks and he pushes himself back upright. Turning to me he has a wide grin on his face and looks sheepish as he shrugs. Can a dragon-man look sheepish? Well I think he does.

  "You okay?" I ask.

  His head tilts to the side and he's staring at my mouth. Fear makes cold chills that runs down my arms and legs while butterflies dance in my stomach. Something primal in me automatically leaps towards a fear of being eaten when he looks at me like that.

  "Stupid, right? I mean you're not going to eat me. I don't think," I say.

  He looks over his shoulder at the tide rising and if I didn't know better I'd say he shuddered. He says something. Well he makes noises that might be words then he walks towards me. I hold my hands up and take a couple of steps backwards.

  "Woah big guy," I say. "Let's just keep our distance for now."

  He stops and stares at my hands. More sounds, might be words, who knows?

  "Shelter," I point towards the cave I'm heading for. "Cold."

  I rub my arms both to try and give him the concept and to warm myself.

  "This place sucks, what are we going to eat? And please don't say me. Please be like a vegetarian or something. Not that there's any vegetation to eat either but yeah, humans are friends not food, okay? Listen to Nemo. You know Nemo right? Of course you do, everybody knows Nemo."

  We stare at each other for too long. The water is rising and the waves are getting louder. Shaking my head I turn my back on him and start walking.

  "It's not like I really want to know if you decide to eat me. It'd be better if it was a surprise, right? Just bam, it's over, that's all. Yeah, I think so. Man I hope you're not going to eat me. Wasn't there an episode of Star Trek with dragon-people? No, wait, it was Doctor Who! I remember it now, yeah, good episode. That one girl had a recurring role after that. You don't look like her though. Much cooler looking. They probably didn't have the budget to CGI something like you. All those colors, beautiful."

  Beautiful. What are you saying Jenna? Are you nuts? Monologue. It's what I do.

  The cliff looks like it goes straight up. The rocks are cold and wet to the touch. I look back at the ocean with a sinking feeling in my gut. How high does the tide come? We could be so screwed because I'm starting to think it comes all this way.

  Dragon-man is staring out at the ocean again. He doesn't seem to like it. I guess. I could be wrong but if he's cold-blooded that would explain why he moves kind of slow. Or it could be that he's a huge guy who just moves slow. Shaking my head I turn my attention back to the cliff.

  I need a way up. There has to be one. A few hundred more feet down I spot a pile of rocks that looks like it might be climbable.

  "Hey!" I call to the dragon-man.

  He turns and looks, arching an eyebrow. Wow those alien eyes are so different! They're amethyst colored and entrancing. Entrancing like a deadly snake.

  "This way," I say, shaking myself free of the spell. "Come on."

  His eyes follow my pointing finger then he nods.

  "Hey! We communicated! Go us. Now if we could just figure out how to say don't eat me please. See, I'm cool like that, I'll even say please."

  I smile then turn and walk towards the pile of rubble. Checking over
my shoulder he's pacing me but keeping a short distance back. He keeps staring over at the water as we walk then he stumbles and I giggle. His head snaps towards me and I choke down the almost laugh. He grins though. Maybe. I'm convinced it's a grin. It might not be but it sure looks like one.

  He shakes his head side to side then looks down at the ground and starts picking his way more carefully. On my next step my foot slips out from under me and the ground comes up fast. I throw my arms out in a vain attempt to protect myself but still hit the ground hard. My ankle twists and my leg screams in pain as do the palms of my hands. I think I black out for a second.

  "Ouch!" I cry out.

  Rolling onto my butt, I sit up. My jeans are torn down my shin and my leg is bleeding. I'm inspecting it trying to figure out how bad it is when his shadow falls across me. He makes more hissing sounds holding his hands out and pointing at my leg. Fear grips me making my stomach a tight knot.

  "No, I'm fine," I say and scramble to my feet, trying to prove my point.

  My ankle sends a jolt of pain and I wince but it holds my weight. The leg isn't bad even if I am bleeding a little. He stops moving closer. I shiver uncontrollably. It's so damn cold here!

  "Damn it!" I cry out in frustration.

  Waves crash with a deafening roar against the rocky cliff beach. Tide is rising fast, we have to get somewhere else. Damn that weird, winged dwarf. I never should have followed him!

  "I knew I forgot something," the dwarf-cherub creature says, popping back into existence with a loud smack.

  "Where the hell are we?" I growl, whirling on him.

  He smiles, the little bastard smiles! Anger pulses like a thrumming bass. He's opening a bag tied by a rope to his waist. As he reaches into it, the huge alien dragon-man I'm stuck here with hisses and lunges. The dwarf flies up into the air, his tiny angelic wings carrying him out of the dragon-man's reach.

  "Now, now," the dwarf says. "Trust me."

  He pulls his hand out of the bag and throws down a handful of sparkling dust. It hits me in the face and I sneeze. Seriously? Fairy dust? This whole celestial mates, fairy god-dwarf thing is going too far!